The Heart Remembers Page 24

  Tharyn closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. Gripping Susan’s hand, she gave one long final push. There was sudden relief, and as she tried to take a deep breath, she heard a slap and the shrill cry of the newborn baby.

  Gasping for breath, Tharyn opened her eyes and looked at Dane, who had the wailing infant cradled in one arm while picking up a towel. Weakly, she said, “What do we have, honey?”

  Wiping mucus and blood from the baby’s face and body, Dane looked at his weary wife and smiled. “We have a handsome baby boy! Just a few minutes, and you can hold him.”

  Dane finished with the towel and handed the wailing little boy to Susan so she could take him to the washroom next to the bedroom.

  Dane leaned over Tharyn, hugged her, and together they rejoiced and praised God for His goodness.

  Dane did some clean-up work, then took a stethoscope from his medical bag on the dresser and hung it on his neck. He helped Tharyn into a sitting position with pillows at her back, and a few minutes later, Susan entered the room with the baby wrapped in a small blue blanket. He had stopped crying. She smiled as she placed him into his mother’s waiting arms.

  Tharyn looked at him with adoring eyes and felt her heart enlarge to encompass her new son. She gently gathered him close and felt a warmth run through her at the sight of God’s precious little gift. She ran her gaze to Dane as she stroked the baby’s soft cheeks. “Oh, darling, little Dane Jr. is absolutely beautiful. What a marvelous miracle he is!”

  Dane smiled from ear to ear. “That he is, sweetheart. Well, now that you know he has two eyes, one nose, one mouth, ten perfect fingers and ten perfect toes, do you mind if I check him over?”

  Tharyn’s smile matched her husband’s. “If you insist.”

  Dane took the little guy into his arms and gazed at him with adoration, then laid him down at the foot of the bed to examine him more closely. He glanced at Susan. “Would you help Tharyn freshen up? I’m sure she would feel better.”

  While Susan was assisting Tharyn with a washcloth and a pan of water, Dane opened the blue blanket and gently ran his fingers over his son’s tiny body, stopping to probe here and there. He warmed the microphone on the stethoscope with his hand, then placed it on the baby’s chest. After listening for a half-minute or so, he turned the baby over and placed the instrument on his back.

  Holding it there, a frown formed on his brow.

  Tharyn had her eyes on him, and she was quick to pick up on her husband’s troubled look. “What is it, Dane? What’s wrong?” There was a quiver in her voice.

  Looking from his son to his wife, he put on a smile. “Just a little irregular heartbeat. Nothing for you to concern yourself about, sweetheart. He’s a couple of weeks or so early, you know. I’m sure it’ll clear up in a day or two, and he’ll be fine.”

  Dane Jr. puckered up and a demanding cry erupted. Dane forced a smile. “He wants his mommy.”

  He wrapped the baby back in the blanket and placed him in his mother’s arms. Tharyn looked into the tiny face and cooed and talked to him.

  Dane told Tharyn and Susan that he wanted to stay with mother and baby for the day, and he would go ask Dr. Fraser if he would fill in for him. He told Tharyn he would stop by the Western Union office and send telegrams to her parents and his, advising them that they had a little grandson. He would also stop by the parsonage and let the Shanes know that little Dane Jr. had been born.

  Susan went to the kitchen and cooked breakfast while Dr. Dane walked to Dr. Fraser’s house and told him and Esther of little Dane Jr. being born. He explained to Dr. Fraser that the baby’s heart was not sounding quite right, and asked if he would fill in for him so he could stay home for the day. He wanted to keep a check on the heart. Dr. Fraser told him he would.

  When Dane returned home, Susan had fed Tharyn and was eating her own breakfast. He told her that Dr. Fraser would be at the office by the time she got there. He ate a quick breakfast and went upstairs.

  When Dane entered the bedroom, he noted that his son was asleep in the cradle they had bought a few weeks earlier. Tharyn was sitting up on the bed with her back against the pillows. She managed a smile.

  “So he’s napping already, eh?” Dane said.

  “Mm-hmm. I fed him his breakfast, so he’s sleeping with a full tummy.”

  “Good. I’ll check him over when he wakes up. The telegrams are on their way, and Dr. Fraser is filling in for me all day. Pastor and Jenny will be by later. I told them about the irregular heartbeat.”

  As the day wore on, Dane checked the baby’s heartbeat and became increasingly concerned that all was not well. He noticed that little Dane was very lethargic at times, and unusually fretful at other times.

  The Shanes came by a little before noon and prayed with Dane and Tharyn for the baby. Both the pastor and Jenny tried to encourage the Logans.

  In early afternoon, Tharyn looked on with concern as her husband once again laid the infant beside her on the bed and listened to his heart.

  The growing sounds of irregularity were mixed with a sound that Dane could not identify. He had delivered many a baby during his internship at the hospital in Cheyenne, during the time he worked in his father’s practice, and since he had come to Central City. He had not encountered a sound like this.

  Lord, he said in his heart, I feel so helpless. There’s so much in the medical profession that we don’t know yet. Help me to do all I should for my little son.

  Trying to mask from Tharyn his concern for the baby, he listened again to the rapidly beating heart. A wave of fear welled up within him. He placed the baby in Tharyn’s arms, doing his best not to show the fear he felt, and said, “Maybe he’ll sleep some more now.”

  Dane sat down on a chair beside the bed.

  Tharyn held the baby close, looking lovingly into his eyes, and cooed to him some more, doing her best not to reveal her own fear. As young as baby Dane was, he found his thumb, popped it into his mouth, and fell asleep.

  Dane leaned close, setting his gaze on the baby’s face. “That’s a good boy, son. You get some sleep. Maybe it will help heal you.”

  Tharyn frowned. “Do you really think it will?”

  “It might. The Lord did give us sleep to help strengthen our bodies.”

  Some twenty minutes had passed when the baby awakened and started fussing. Dane was alarmed at his ashen appearance, and though his little son opened his mouth to cry, only a small, mewling sound came out. He jerked, coughed twice, whimpered, and went limp.

  Tharyn’s eyes widened and her breathing became tense as Dane massaged their son’s little chest, and even pressed his lips to the baby’s mouth and blew.

  But little Dane Logan Jr. did not move and did not breathe.

  His face ashen as he held the little body, Dane looked at Tharyn through his tears and drew a short, shuddering breath. “He’s dead, honey.”

  Tharyn’s whole body stiffened and her throat went tight. She became aware of the weight of her heart, like a stone in her chest.

  Dane cradled the lifeless little form in one arm and wrapped the other one around her neck, pulling her close. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I couldn’t save him. There was something wrong with his little heart. It just wasn’t strong enough to keep beating.”

  Great wet sobs shook Tharyn so hard that her chest felt as if it had been pierced with a sharp blade. Her throat felt hot and raw. She sagged against Dane, her face twisted in a grimace, and cried between sobs, “No! No! Not my baby! No-o-o!”

  Her body was shaking all over. As she continued to sob, Dane held her close, their tears mingling. His voice cracked as he said, “Sweetheart, the Lord had a reason for little Dane to be born with a faulty heart. We may not understand what that reason was till we get to heaven, but we must trust Him in this. Our God doesn’t make mistakes.”

  Tharyn was trying to stop shaking and sobbing.

  Dane squeezed her tight with the arm that held her. “Honey, our little boy is in heaven with Jesus now.”


  Tharyn sniffled and reached for the lifeless little body. Dane relinquished it into her arms. She gathered the body to her breast as tears ran down her cheeks, dripping off her chin. She cooed to him like she had before, kissed both cheeks, and gazed longingly at his tiny face, trying to commit everything about him to memory.

  The funeral was held the following Tuesday in order to allow both sets of grandparents to make the trip to Central City. Melinda Kenyon had come with the Tabors and stayed close to Tharyn during the service.

  Most of the town had gathered at the cemetery. While Pastor Mark Shane delivered the brief message at the grave site, his wife was also as close to Tharyn as she could get.

  The tiny white coffin looked so forlorn as it sat on a cart next to the yawning grave.

  The pastor’s words of comfort found deep root in the grieving parents’ hearts as they stood, flanked by their own parents and friends, holding hands.

  That night at bedtime, with both sets of parents and Melinda Kenyon staying in guest rooms at the Logan house, Dane and Tharyn entered their own bedroom, again holding hands.

  Tharyn’s eyes went to the spot where the cradle once stood.

  It was gone.

  She looked up into her husband’s eyes questioningly.

  He laid his hands on both her shoulders. “Honey, when you were in the parlor with our mothers just before we went to the funeral, I took the cradle and put it in the attic. Both of our dads were with me. They agreed that the sight of it would just tear at your wounded heart every time you looked at it. If God wills, that cradle will one day hold another child. Do you understand?”

  Tharyn wrapped her arms around him. “Yes, darling, I understand. You did the right thing. Thank you for being so thoughtful and kind. No one will ever take baby Dane’s place, but with this mother’s heart beating in my breast, I do pray for more children in this family.”

  Dane kissed her cheek. “I know you know the verse that says, ‘As for God, his way is perfect.’ We will trust Him to have His way concerning our future children.”

  “Yes, we will,” she agreed softly.

  “I need to talk to you about my trip to Chicago.”

  “Yes?”

  “I want you to go with me. It will help occupy your mind.”

  She smiled. “Always thinking of me, aren’t you? Of course I’ll go with you.”

  The Tabors, the Logans, and Melinda Kenyon stayed for another day, then headed for their homes.

  On Monday, May 1, the new clinic was opened with Mayor Mike Anderson presiding over the opening ceremony.

  The newlyweds arrived in Central City on Monday, May 8. Melinda was a real comfort to Tharyn over the loss of the baby.

  Dr. Tim and Melinda moved into their new house with Kirby Holton there to help them. On Tuesday, Dr. Tim started work in the clinic. He was very much liked by Susan and Mary.

  On Saturday morning, May 27, Dane and Tharyn were at Chicago’s railroad station, waiting for their train to arrive from New York that would carry them to Denver. Tharyn was still talking about what a great speech Dane had made at the commencement ceremony, and how so many people had come to him to comment on it.

  Soon the train pulled in, and as it rolled to a stop, both of them saw that the last two coaches were filled with children—boys in the last one, girls in the one just ahead.

  Tharyn said, “Dane, it’s an orphan train!”

  “Doesn’t that bring back some memories. We’re going to ride an orphan train again!”

  When the orphans and their Children’s Aid Society sponsors, including the nurse who was traveling with them, got off the train to stretch their legs, the Logans approached the sponsors and introduced themselves. They told them how they had both gone out West on different orphan trains when they were teenagers.

  The sponsors were pleased to meet them, and the nurse said she was always glad to know when there was a doctor aboard their train. Dr. Dane told them that his wife was a certified medical nurse.

  One of the sponsors told the Logans that in Topeka, the orphans would be on display for the first time before prospective foster parents.

  The train arrived in Topeka on Sunday afternoon. Dr. Dane and Tharyn got off to watch the orphans line up, and memories flooded their minds.

  Tharyn’s attention was drawn to one little girl with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. Pointing to her, she said, “Honey, look at that little girl. Her hair and eyes are exactly the same color as yours.”

  Dane smiled. “She’s a pretty little thing, isn’t she?”

  “I’d guess she’s about five years old. Wouldn’t you agree?”

  “Yes, I think you’re right.”

  Suddenly Tharyn thought of Elizabeth Ann in her recurring dream. She had dreamed it again while in the hotel in Chicago the night before. This little girl very much resembled Elizabeth Ann.

  When it was time for the children to get back on the train, only two teenage boys had been chosen.

  Soon the train pulled out.

  During the night, one of the Children’s Aid Society women entered the coach where the Logans were riding in a seat near the front. As with most of the passengers in the coach, they were both asleep. Lanterns burned low at both ends and in the center of the coach. Cora Stevens awakened Dr. Dane, who was seated on the aisle. Tharyn woke up also. Cora told Dr. Dane they had a little girl with a fever. She explained that the nurse was in the boys’ coach tending to a very sick little boy, and asked if he would come and look at the little girl. He picked up his medical bag and followed her.

  Tharyn was about to fall asleep again when she felt Dane sit down beside her. When she opened her eyes, she was astonished to see that he had in his arms the girl she had pointed out to Dane in Topeka. She could see that the child was feverish. The child opened her eyes briefly, set them on Tharyn, then closed them again.

  Keeping his voice low, Dane said, “I gave her some powders. The fever isn’t dangerously high. Her name’s Beth Martin, and she is indeed five years old.”

  The child opened her eyes again and set them on Tharyn. Tharyn patted the top of her head. “Hello, Beth. I’m Dr. Logan’s wife.”

  Beth let a weak smile curve her lips and closed her eyes again.

  Dane explained that Beth’s father was killed in a New York City riot before she was born. Her mother died of pneumonia last winter. Cora told him that since awaking with the fever, Beth kept calling for her mommy. Cora thought if Mrs. Logan would hold her, it would help.

  Tharyn smiled. “Of course.”

  She took the child into her arms and kissed her cheek. For a few seconds, she thought of her dead little boy.

  Beth opened her eyes, looked up at Tharyn, and this time her smile was stronger. “Mrs. Logan …”

  “Yes, honey?”

  “My mommy died. I miss her. Will you be my new mommy?”

  Tharyn felt her heart lurch in her breast. She cuddled the child close and said, “So your name is Beth Martin.”

  The little girl nodded. “My real name is Elizabeth Ann, but everybody calls me Beth.”

  Tharyn hugged the child tightly and felt tears well up in her eyes.

  Dane’s head jerked around when he heard the little girl’s words. He saw the tears in Tharyn’s eyes.

  Tharyn looked over the little orphan girl’s head directly into her husband’s eyes and gave him a smile like none he had seen since their son died.

  “Darling,” she said softly, “did you hear that? Her name is Elizabeth Ann.”

  Dane smiled. “Isn’t that something?”

  In Central City on Monday afternoon, May 29, Pastor Mark Shane and his wife pulled up to the Wells Fargo office in their buggy at 3:15. The stage carrying the Logans was due to arrive at 3:30.

  Peggy said, “Mark, Tharyn was handling little Dane Jr.’s death pretty well by the time they left for Chicago, don’t you think?”

  He nodded. “The Lord was giving her peace as only He can do.”

  Moments later, they sa
w the stage coming down the wide, dusty street, and climbed out of their buggy. When it pulled up in front of the office, Dr. Dane saw them through the window and smiled.

  As the Shanes approached the stage, two men who were sitting opposite the Logans stepped out, followed by the doctor. They watched as Dr. Dane turned around, reached through the door, and picked up a little girl. He held her in one arm while he helped Tharyn down with his free hand.

  The pastor and Peggy looked behind the Logans to see if the little girl’s parents were following. There was no one else inside the coach.

  The Shanes moved up to them and Mark said, “Welcome home! Who’s this pretty little girl?”

  “This is Elizabeth Ann Martin,” Dr. Dane said. “She’s an orphan.”

  Tharyn spoke up. “The train Dane and I were on from Chicago turned out to be an orphan train. We got acquainted with Elizabeth Ann on the trip, and the Lord laid it on our hearts to bring her home with us. She’s God’s special gift to us. Before we got off the train in Denver, we signed Children’s Aid Society papers as her foster parents.”

  “That’s wonderful!” Peggy said.

  “Tomorrow, we’ll take her to the Gilpin County judge and legally adopt her,” Dr. Dane said. “She wants us to call her Beth Ann, so Beth Ann, say hello to Pastor and Mrs. Shane.”

  Beth Ann smiled. “Hello.”

  The Shanes welcomed Beth Ann, as did everyone who met her in the days that followed, including both sets of grandparents, who came to visit shortly after they heard of her arrival.

  Beth Ann and her new parents grew closer every day, and Tharyn thanked the Lord daily that though in His wisdom He took little Dane Jr. to heaven, He gave her little Elizabeth Ann, even as she had dreamed.

  TWENTY-THREE

  On Tuesday afternoon, September 26, the September 25 edition of the Rocky Mountain News arrived in Central City on the stagecoach from Denver. The paper reported that Cheyenne and Shoshone warriors were attacking white settlements, farms, and ranches in the Medicine Bow area in northern Colorado and southern Wyoming.